Story time with the Kaiba Brothers!
by greeneyeswhitedragon
Summary: Mokuba can't get to sleep without a story, and what every child needs is a Duel Monsters story! No fairy tale shall go unharmed, but one thing is for certain, Kaiba's in for a long night! R&R. Chapter 3 now up!
1. The 3 Bears and Goldilocks

And so it begins...

Seto: "Once upon a time….."

"Lame..."

"Tale as old as time….."

"Lame..."

"I don't have time to play games Mokuba."

"Well then just make up a story big brother. Something new, something exciting, and something with duel monsters!"

"Something with duel monsters…..mhmmm….."

"And a happy ending?"

"Don't get your hopes up…."

"On an island far far away, there was a cottage. Did I say cottage? I meant a giant castle on a monstrous mountain, and surrounded in rich lands of green and gold. This newly marketed real estate included various hills, underground caves, magnificent coasts and state of the art dueling systems all over the island. A prime buy if it wasn't previously owned by a selfish lunatic bent on destroying all life in existence to get his own way."

"Oh! So you're in the story now?"

"No. Enough of your jabbering. Shouldn't you be asleep now?"

"I'm waiting for the ending!"

"The End."

"That's not good enough! I want a story big brother!"

"Fine," he sighed. "A story you'll get"

"In a small gaming shop in the middle of the woods, there lived a family of 3 (rather short) duelists. There was a father, a mother and a little boy duelist. One day, they were experimenting with their decks, but found they were missing some cards, and decided to take a walk to the neighbouring game store to purchase some rare cards. For some reason they didn't seem to lock their doors or invest in proper security and some nosy little girl duelist came along looking for friends. She had heard of little cottages in the woods and had hoped to spread her guidance of friendship. Upon entering the house, she noticed a little wooden desk with a cash register on it and 3 neatly piled decks. Being a fool...errs...innocent little girl she ignored the cash register and examined the little duelist decks.

The first deck was a complicated deck, full of traps and heavily relying on dark monster cards. It was too complicated for her little mind to comprehend. She placed it back, and picked up the second one beside it. It was a deck full of fantasy monsters and fairy tale magic cards. It was just too girly for her! Lastly, she turned to the final deck. It was full of low level monsters, weak traps, and useless magic cards. It was a great starter deck for someone who didn't have the advanced knowledge of a master duelist such as me."

"Seto….," the little one piped up. "That's not funny"

"So, being foolish little girl who was consumed in her latest friendship theory, she failed to hear the family returning. As the door opened the little boy saw the girl duelist. Excitedly, Yugi…errs…the short little boy duelist ran in and gave the girl a shy smile. "Oh hello there," said the girl as she noticed the boy. "I know we'll just be the greatest of friends, because friendship is the …" Before she could finish the father duelist, who was absolutely furious that someone had touched his occult deck, used his millennium ring to banish her to the shadow realm."

"The End," Kaiba finished with a smirk.

" That's horrible!" Mokuba stated. "I want another story, and I'm not going to bed without a real one!" The youngest Kaiba stated with his arms crossed.

Kaiba looked at his watch and realized he was not getting out of this unless Mokuba got another story. He sighed, "Alright, how about a new one? This one involves a prince in shining armor racing against a fierce dragon to get to a princess he has somehow heard of through the town gossip?"

Mokuba settled down in his bed, pulled his blankets up, and waited impatiently for his big brother to continue.


	2. Hansel and Gretel

**Disclaimer:** I don't own yu-gi-oh! And it's just as simple as that;)

(**A/N:** Thanks for those reviews! I'll respond at the end of this chapter! You guys inspired me for this chapter so I hope you enjoy it!)

"In an enchanted land, ironically existing only in people's dreams…"

"Big brother you promised a dragon, and a princess and a prince!"

"Those stories get old fast, kind of like outlived duelists"

"But I do get another story right?" the little one asked so innocently.

"Alright, Alright!" replied Seto giving into those cute puppy dog eyes.

"Once upon a time there lived a poor woodcutter and his nagging wife. The woodcutter has two children from a previous marriage, and the step-mother couldn't stand the troublesome mutt…errr…Joey and his sister. What's her name again? You know the one I'm talking about, right?"

"Serenity?"

"Yes, that's the one. So, this happy little family was running out food. Imagine that! With Wheeler around no wonder there was little food."

"That's enough Big Brother!"

"I suppose. For now."

"Well the step-mother was not impressed with this. I mean this woman was clearly in the wrong home if she needed food and warmth. So she sweet-talked her husband into abandoning his children in this forest that was conveniently right in their backyard. Since the children were highly disobedient children and eavesdropping on the entire conversation, they made a plan to try and find a way back. Wheeler went outside, and picked up some shiny pebbles. He filled his pockets and then went back to sleep, where he snored profusely and woke the house up at dawn.

It was still damp from the frost when the woodcutter took his children deep into the woods. So deep that there was no hope of following the same twisted and warped trail back to the house. It was at this point that the woodcutter built a fire and gathered the courage to leave, claiming to return for the children when he was finished his work. As the children waited, day turned to dusk, and dusk turned to dark. Thankfully there was a full moon, so the children could see a little bit. For some reason, Wheeler was too distracted by the walk to do two things at once, and failed to drop the pebbles he had picked up the night before."

"That's not very nice Seto."

"No, but it is true Mokuba. Have you seen the guy try to walk and talk before? Multi-tasking is clearly not for the brainless of this world."

"So being a typical little girl, Serenity began to sob bitterly because she was homesick, even though they were only gone for one day at this point. Sad, isn't it? So at this point, Wheeler finally gathered the courage to take his sister's hand and wandered through the forest seeking some kind of a path to get them home. After a couple hours, they realized they were walking in circles and Serenity took the lead. On they walked till they suddenly came across a strange cottage. It looked just like a gingerbread house…"

"This sure is some good gingerbread," Joey interrupted, though you could barely hear him since his mouth was full.

"This is my story Wheeler. Get your own." Seto responded coldly.

"At this moment, an old woman opened the door and gasped in horror! "You're eating my house you nasty children!" she exclaimed. "I challenge you to a duel!" She led them inside to a table set up with a miniature dueling system on it. As Wheeler prepared his sad excuse for a deck, and the witch preparing hers, a light clicked on in Serenity Wheeler's head. While the two were distracted she slipped back into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. Ever so slowly she returned and quickly removed the plug that was connected to the dueling system. With that done, she dripped water on to the plug that was attached to the wall. A clever girl, despite the fact she's a Wheeler. She brought the problem of the unplugged dueling system to the witch, who tried to plug the wires back together. A large electrical zap and with a bright flash of light, the witch vanished."

"You mean she got electrocuted and died?"

"No, I mean she vanished. Like poof into thin air and such."

"She died..."

Seto shrugged. "Believe what you want, but I was trying to lighten the mood. Get it? Lighten?" He began to smirk.

Mokuba rolled his eyes. "So then what happened?"

"Well I imagine it was a happy ending and such."

Mokuba glared...

"Alright, Alright! Joey and Serenity hugged in happiness and skipped merrily out of the house and down the path. From there they found a bridge which lead to an opening in the forest and right into the backyard of their house. They rushed inside, and they all lived happily ever after…well except that step-mother. Poor old girl, I was kind of starting to like her."

"That's gross! You can't like a witch!"

"I don't see why not Mokuba. Witches make excellent and cheap receptionists."

Mokuba shook his head in laughter. "I suppose they do, but you still promised me a story with a prince and a dragon."

Seto sighed in defeat. This was certainly going to be a long, long night.

(**A/N:** Here's your responses ladies and gents! And please remember, I love your reviews! So hit that purple button and make me smile:))

kaiba.berry: My first reviewer! Thank you kindly! I can totally imagine him pulling this off too! I'll try my best to keep up that great work and hopefully this meets your expectations with that:)

WhiteAsukalover: LOL! Yes, he most certainly is in for a long night! Poor Kaiba:(

Artemis: Glad you liked it! Just remember to breath in between all that laughter;)

Freya: I'm glad you loved the first chapter. Here's the second and I hope you like it as much:)


	3. The 3 little Pigs

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! I don't have the rights to any of Britney Spears's music. Or the rights to MasterCard (heck I don't even own a MC), but if I did own any of those…man…just imagine the shopping trip I would have...-sigh- a girl can dream…

* * *

(**A/N:** Thanks to all who reviewed! You inspired yet another chapter, and made me super happy. This fan-fiction is just so much fun to write! Oh and by the way...things in italics are thoughts:) Thanks!

* * *

**When we last left off: **

Mokuba shook his head in laughter. "I suppose they do, but you still promised me a story with a prince and a dragon."

Seto sighed in defeat. This was certainly going to be a long, long night.

* * *

**And now our feature presentation: **

A long night it most certainly was turning into. Seto Kaiba quietly drummed his fingers on the side of the bed, lost in his thoughts. _"This quick little bed time story is wasting precious hours I could have spent working, and time is money. Now what is the best story I could possible tell to get Mokuba to finally sleep? Hmmm... I bet that Yugi still needs a story to get to sleep...but what am I thinking...I'm not that desperate enough to call Mutou..." _

Mokuba was getting impatient, and it was evidently shown by his newly formed pout. To make matters worse, the young Kaiba had burst into a chant;

"I want a story, a story, a story! I want a story, a story, a story! I want a ..."

"_YES! I am that desperate! Make it stop! Make it stop! Please make it stop!"_

With that thought fresh in his mind, Kaiba jumped out of his chair and ran as quickly as he could to the a phone. Any phone would do, but it just had to be far from the devilish chanting of his younger brother. He found a phone in the kitchen and immediately punched in the numbers he assumed would lead him to the Mutou residence.

"Hello, you've reached Duke Devlin's voice mail. For some reason, I'm spending more time than usual looking in a mirror, and can't get away to answer my phone. So in the mean time, follow the voice prompts. Press 1 if you want an autograph mailed to your current location. Press 2 if interested in a photo autograph mailed to your location. Press 3 if you're interested in becoming my newest love interest. Press 4 if this is Pegasus with an update on his upcoming wine tasting party, or an associate of his with business news. Press 5 if this is Serenity Wheeler returning one of my millions of calls for this Friday. Please say your free this time! This is the 5th time I've had to reschedule a potential date due to no answer...Thanks for your time and please call again!"

"Uhhh...clearly that was not the Mutou residence…" He thought out loud while hanging up the telephone. "_I wonder if we have his number written down somewhere. Highly doubt it. Now where is the phone book? Mutou...Mutou...How the heck do I spell it? Umm...Mootu? ...Mo..?...No that's not right...Mu? Right! Found it!"  
_  
Before he could dial the number and ask his arch-rival for help, a familiar ring-tone began to play in the distance...

"I'm Mr. Domino Dream since I was 16  
Don't matter if I step on the scene  
Or sneak away to the office  
Those fan girls are still gonna put pictures of my derrière in any magazine  
You want a piece of me?  
You want a piece of me?"

"Oh my god," Kaiba gasped as he ran down the hall to Mokuba's room.

"I'm Mr. Lifestyles of the rich and famous  
(You want a piece of me)  
I'm Mr. Oh my God that Kaiba's Shameless  
(You want a piece of me)  
I'm Mr. Extra! Extra! This just in  
(You want a piece of me)  
I'm Mr. he's so straight, or is he gay (1)  
(You want a piece of me)"

By the time he reached the bedroom, Mokuba was doubling over in laughter. He grabbed his cell phone out of his little brother's hands and proceeded back to the phone in shame and embarrassed.

After only the second ring, Grandpa Mutou answered the phone. "Chuckie's Morgue…You stab 'em, we slap 'em"-moment of silence- Mutou's gaming shop, rare cards, cheap cards, Pokemon cards, tarot cards, Hallmark cards…"

"Listen old man! I need to speak with Yugi Mutou!"

"No-for the last time I will not sign up for a platinum MasterCard! I already told you, I got one last year and my grandson took it away for my outrageous spending habits!"

"IS YOUR GRANDSON THERE?!"

"Why yes I have a grandson…however did you know?-moment of silence- Oh my goodness! You can read my mind, can't you?!"

Before Kaiba blew a blood vessel in his little brain from stress, a miracle occurred. Little Yugi Mutou had come down to the Game Shop is search of a much needed glass of milk. Since Grandpa had aged significantly in the past week, he knew the milk just had to be in the Game Shop (seeing as it wasn't in the fridge), and overheard an angry voice yelling from the phone.

"Let me get this one Grandpa," he offered, and proceeded to take the phone from his Grandfather.

"It would be all my honour Mr. Prime Minister. I shall await your presence in the limousine once your paperwork is completed. Thank you sir," replied the confused elderly gentleman as he left the room and made his way up the nearby stairs to the upstairs apartment.

Yugi giggled like an innocent youngchild, and lifted the receiver to his ear. "Hello, Yugi Mutou speaking..."

"Cut the introductions Mutou. I need a fairy tale story, and quick!" Kaiba muttered coldly into the phone.

"Ummm...What about the 3 little pigs? With all there running away from the wolf and building neat houses. I loved that fairy tale...can I join you guys for a story? Grandpa can barely remember his name, let alone a story tonight. I want a story! I want a story!..."

Kaiba hung up the phone before the young youth could continue his chant. _"I'm beginning to sense a trend here with these chats...Children today are losing their brain cells to advertisements...memo to self: cut back Mokuba's TV time..." _

* * *

**And now for a brief interlude:**

THIS IS A KAIBA CORPORATION SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Get a Kaiba Corp. newly released state of the art mini duel disk system and get a rare card!  
That's right ladies and gents...a rare card!  
With just 5 easy payments of 39.99 yen this amazing offer can be yours!  
Just call 1-888-5454-RARE, our operators are standing by!

And this just in released from the desk of Mr. Kaiba himself...enter the code BEWD and get 10 percent off!

* * *

**-Cues music- And now back to our feature presentation**

Kaiba walked back to the room eager to tell Mokuba his new story. The youngest Kaiba on the other hand, was eager to hear a story, instead of staring at the ceiling and waiting out of pure boredom.

"Alright Mokuba," he said as he sat down in his chair with a plop. "Here we go!"

"Once upon a time there lived a Mother Kuriboh, a Daddy Kuriboh, and 3 little Kuribohs. The little Kuribohs grew so big, that their Mother refused to look after them. She packed them a lunch..."

"Wait...what do Kuribohs eat?"

"I'm not sure Mokuba. Usually it's the Kuribohs that get eaten on the dueling field. Lowest duel monster in the food chain"

"Then she sent them on their merry way. She reminded them that the hungry Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts was always on the hunt for young Kuribohs, especially those Kuribohs that didn't have a safe place to hide.

The oldest Kuriboh was clearly not the brightest Kuriboh in Duel Monster land. He found 3 loaves of bread in his lunch, and proceeded to build his house out of bread. Then he settled into his little house for the evening, and wished his siblings the best with their tasks.

The middle child of the Kuriboh family was a stuck up snob."

"She was not!"

"No seriously, she was."

"Prove it!"

"Very well…"

"She was a stuck up snob because unlike the other Kuribohs, she thought she could make it in modeling. She was always one to strike a pose, and was constantly walking with her hips bouncing from side to side in practice for the catwalk. Her nose was constantly in the air, so it was no surprise when the little kuriboh made her house out of celebrity magazines. All the trends were posted into her walls so she wouldn't miss a thing in the industry. She snuggled into a little chair with the latest cover of People and wished her brother good day.

Now the last Kuriboh had a brain. He was determined not to get eaten, so he built his house out of a combination of the strongest things he could think of: trap cards, and legal papers.

Now the big bad Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts had been watching the Kuribohs for quite sometime. He proposed that these 3 lucky meals would be easier than his previous meals to catch. He proceeded to visit the first little Kuriboh and his house of bread.

Now this cleaver Gazelle had an idea. He got a bucket of water and marched right up to the house of bread. He dumped the water on to the house, and with that, the house came down in a mush around the little Kuriboh. The big, bad Gazelle opened his mouth, and the Kuriboh vanished."

"Let us not start this again… You mean he died."

"…vanished Mokuba. Use your imagination!"

"Now the beast hesitated destroying the second house and eating the Kuriboh, because he was all tied up in an article about Brangelina. It was an interesting tale of there newest adopted child, and the newest movie that Angelina Jolie was staring in to promote adopting foreign children for trendy purposes only. At dusk when he could no longer read the article, he set fire to the house, and burnt it down. When the well done Kuriboh walked out the front door to escape, the Gazelle opened his mouth wide, and poof she vanished!"

Mokuba crossed his arms and glared at his brother. "How young do you think I am?"

Seto chuckled to himself. "You're young enough to avoid girls; therefore you're young enough to avoid the death scenes."

"Night fell quickly, and the retired for the evening. As he past the darkness of the third Kuriboh's house, he vowed to return"

"That's it?"

"Nope……still awake?"

"Yes!"

-Sigh-

"Day breaks, my heart aches….errr….that was off topic. The Gazelle woke up bright and early and rushed to the third little Kuriboh's house. It was still a wee bit dark, so he tiptoed into the yard. At that exact moment, he found himself trapped in a Spell-Binding Circle! He couldn't move! The lights in the little Kuriboh's house turned on, and the alarms began to sound. A lovely assortment of both media and law enforcement officers had turned out for this rare moment. The Gazelle was taken away in the back of a Truckroid and served some legal papers from the North side of the Kuriboh's house. Needless to say, he left that third Kuriboh alone, once he was released."

"Hooray for the little Kuriboh! I knew he could do it!"

"You mean you're still awake?"

"Yup, Yup, Yup! Another! Another!" he begged of his brother.

Kaiba looked at his watch. It was 2:00am."_I guess we have some time left before I go to work again…I just hope somewhere before that I can fit in a nap…" _

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**A/N: **Can anyone else picture Tristan and Joey saying "Irony" like in the Abridged Series after the Kaiba commercial? hehe...good times!

(1) After browsing through the latest Yu-Gi-Oh fanfics…it's hard to determine the mighty question of Kaiba's sexuality ;)

(2) "Day breaks, my heart aches" - This song is stuck in my head! Had to place it somewhere in this fanfic! Tell me the artist, and win an ...Internet Cookie..haha:)

And here's your responses my amazing reviewers! Thanks again!

**Peach Wookiee: **Must… keep…going…Peach commands it, it shall be done:)

**Dela:** Thanks! Here's an update:)

**Artemis:** Glad to know you're still with us dear friend:)

**Candy World:** I agree. The first chapter will always be my best, but I will make it my goal to make my future chapters get to that standard I've set...as well as length:)

**WhiteAsukalover:** Thanks again for your review and your help! Hehe…it'll take more than niceness to get lil' Mokie to sleep;)

**Uberhaxxor of pwnage:** Thank you very much! It's very fun to mix and "Yugi-ize" fairy tales:)

**Kaiba.berry:** LOL! Shall I send Kaiba to you for stories when the night is done? (You'd be surprised how much fun I had trying to come up with insults to Joey)

**NineBlackOrchids:** I'm glad you like this! I really can't imagine Kaiba telling stories either, but I bet if Mokie gave that adorable puppy dog look he gives, Kaiba would have give in... I'll keep writing, so happy reading!:)


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